Changing weather

I can always tell that the weather is changing because the kids are crazy. None of my students could sit still today and they were all behaviorally challenged and grumpy. It was like pulling teeth to even read a few pages of our story or read the temperature on the thermometer. I was thankful that it was reward day because it was a moment to actually sit and breath, while the students just watched their movie.

The afternoon was much better. I have been doing many hands on activities with my first graders. These guys have so much energy and excitement and I love it. It always brings a smile to my face.

At lunch I found out some more heartbreaking news. Our police officer at our school, who goes between the middle and elementary school, just made a visit to one of our student's houses. It was for the little boy who misses every Friday. Our officer was dealing with this attendance issue. They house was reported to be in terrible shape, light fixtures exposed, a hole in the roof, and was beyond dirty. It actually got condemned. So our student got moved to his grandmother's house. His mom was taken to jail, at least for one night. My heart continually breaks for all my students and the things they have to face everyday.

Today was another late night at school. The ride back was quiet because the other girls fell asleep. My mind reflected on the day and I started to think back to so many other students that I have taught. I think of one of my high schoolers, who is actually now attending my church. Each Sunday it is such a blessing to be able to give her a hug and be a continual part of her life. I also go to thinking about my amazing little preschool boy who was in my Sunday school class. I got to work with him for 3 years and he just recently moved to Arizona. He was such an important part of my life. I find myself missing him so much. Before I started journaling today, I glanced through other parts of my personal online journal. Here part of a previous entry. I need to be reminded of how amazing God is and that there is always a purpose for each person that He brings into my life.

****July 2, 2005***
For the last 4 years I have been teaching a special needs Sunday school class. I only have 5 children, whom I have become quite attached to. Two of my boys are from the same family; their dad is our youth pastor. Their dad accepted another position in Arizona, getting ready to do a church plant. I was devastated to hear that my boys were leaving. I have gotten to know the oldest boy (4 yrs old/severely Autistic) the best. He is my buddy and I am always delighted to see him. Their farewell party was on the weekend, but I was to be gone to the wedding. I went Thursday during my lunch break so officially say goodbye. It was sad to arrive and see all their things in boxes. How could I let them go?? Because I love those boys so much I brought presents for them. When I got there the younger boy (MiMH) had ripped off all his clothes and diaper, so he was running around naked. As his mother corralled him, I went and found the older boy, the love of my life. He discovered his gifts and was excited to open his gifts. Both boys played with their gifts for a while. One of their favorite things was the balloons. We would blow them up and make them squeal as we let the air out. The boys just laughed and laughed.

My lunch was only and hour. Time flew and it was almost time to leave. We played for a bit longer and I tried to savor each last precious moment with my boys.

With tears in my eyes I looked at my boys for the last time before the moved. I hugged and kissed the oldest. He was just playing with his toys, not realizing that this would be the last time he saw me. The little one was a little more aware that something was going on. He had a sad look on his face as I hugged him.

Tears ran down my face as I walked out their door. I cried all the way back to work. Why are goodbyes so hard??

God thank you for bringing those precious boys into my life for a few years. Even though many have tried praying for the healing from the special needs, I truly believe they are 'fearfully and wonderfully made'. They have blessed my life more than words can express. I pray that the transition will go smoothly and that they will be able to get into a school district. Lord bring amazing people into their lives that will love those boys as much as I do. I will miss seeing their little faces each Sunday, but I know this is in your plan. I don't know if I will ever see them again but I pray that Your hand of protection will be over them all their days.

God there have been so many transitions and goodbyes this year, so many good and hard times. Recently it was so hard to say goodbye to all my friends who graduated. Bless them all as they transition into the 'real' world. Guide them into the perfect areas and jobs where you can work through them. Guide and direct those who will be getting married in this next year. Help them to grow closer, not only to each other, but to grow closer to You.

It is hard to move on in life sometimes. Sometimes it seems easier to live in the past, to reminisce on the fun times. Lord thank you for blessing me with amazing friends and experiences. We have all been challenged and experienced growth. Guide and direct my future. Help me to have a loving attitude towards each day, no matter what happens. Thanks for being an amazing God.
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If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.